Better Than Coffee
I almost bought the whole farm this morning. You really can’t beat an absolutely-near-fatal, morning bike commute calamity to loosen up your arteries and get your heart beating on all four cylinders. You can’t get that kinda rush from caffeine. The car must have been going 50 and it probably missed me by less then three fingers of whiskey.

The beginning of the bike season is tough. I’ve been out of practice for five months now and I’m making some dumb mistakes. Rookie mistakes. The first couple of weeks are always the hardest. I’ve lost my spidey-sense over the winter. My muscles arn’t the only things that have to remember how to operate on two wheels instead of four; my brain could also use a sharper edge. Luckily today’s incident should grease the wheels of gray matter and hopefully reboot some survivalist directory that got lost somewhere around January. Let’s be careful out there…

In other dangerous news, we had a full blown ‘Night of the Living Rednecks’ incident this weekend, when the Minnesota Gopher Hockey meatheads got all boozed up and then stomped the streets of Dinkytown burning everything in their path. The pictures looked similar to images being taken in another town being overrun by meat-heads somewhere in the Middle East. I tell ya, if given the choice to be accidently thrown into a crowd of angry anarchist war protesters or happy hockey rioters, I’ll take my chances with the anarchists any day. There’s nothing more dangerous than drunk frat-nazi’s looking to blow off a little post-sport patriotic steam. What I don’t understand is that this same thing happened last year when the Gopher hockey team won the national title. What gives? How many times do you need to ‘almost get hit by the car’ before you learn your lesson?