I’m very happy that the mean month of February is coming to close. Couldn’t happen sooner. It’s really the most intolerable of all the months. It’s no wonder that February got snubbed and only got 28 days. For me the awful by-products of February are, my continual runny nose, my car that looks more like a salt lick than a fine American Land Boat, the constant bickering of politicians (why even try to make policy in February) and the numerous “Ohh pleases” that get thrown at the T.V. while watching the Grammy Awards.

Today I find joy in learning that if I play King Tubby Records on my Hi-Fi system and turn the bass up past 7 that I can generate enough low-end to gently shake the wood floors of my apartment, which causes enough vibration in the end table where my Zen Garden resides to erase whatever patterns were created previous. The effect is much like an etch-a-scketch, only more gradual.

Some music related awards I’d like to give:

Best performance by a duo or group to listen to while waiting for your 85 Oldsmobile to warm up because it’s 4 degrees outside: Tenacious D.

Best song to play while stuck in evening traffic waiting on the ramp for 94 West to decongest: Shirley Bassey – “Goldfinger” (Propellerheads remix)

Best duo or group that comes over classic radio that immediately gets turned up: Boston. Man, Boston rock!! Isn’t Boston just one guy?

Best Song to play while driving around Duluth at 3AM: The Angel – “Selector (on the otha side of midnight)”. Future Music.

Best Song Title: Tosca – “Chocolate Elvis”

Best CD Packaging: Jazzanova – “Remixes”

Best Funk 45 discovery of 2001: Over Night Low – “The Witch Doctor”

Best Song that proves nobody beats the Biz in 2002: Biz Markie – “Turn the Party Out”

Best song to have on the Hi-Fi while cooking in the kitchen, pretending your shooting a show for the food network called “The Dancing Chef”: Fauna Flash – “Ten” (Pole Remix)