“Are you custom-made, custom-paid or just custom-fitted?”

–ludacris

I think the software industry is in need of a new anthem right now. A shut up — get to work — handle your business kinda anthem. An anthem steeped in the tradition of the classic turn of the century work song. An anthem that will have managers rhythmically engaged in stoic call and response with their production teams. An anthem that will transcend the gray boundaries of cube life by rallying the masses with a singularly focused message. I suggest that anthem be “Roll Out (My Business)”, by the southern gentlemen ludacris.

After a quick read of ludacris’ prose I can’t help but wonder if Lud’ was employed by some giant dot com before they went bottoms up and left ‘cris to his own devices. I contest that “Roll Out (my business) is actually a rap-a-log about the software biz, cleverly hidden like the subplots of CB4. There are so many references to industry secrets in this anthem that I wonder if ‘Cris wasn’t working on IBM’s new chip before he was canned for shredding documents. Hey, it’s his business. I don’t know — you decide.

I’m also a big fan of his guest rap on Missy Misdemeanor Elliots “one minute man”. “ludacris balance and rotate all tires”, yet another skillfully drawn metaphor from a queue that seems bottomless. You’d need one of those Google Appliances just to search his database of knowledge bombs. I’m a bit scared though that the automotive metaphor for sex will continue to a trend where the girls on Sex in the City will be talking about, “getting their fluids checked”, and “can you recommend a good mechanic? . Urgg.

And what’s the deal with the radio version of ludacris’ “Area Codes”? Like changing the word “Hoes” to “Pros” somehow makes the occupation more acceptable for radio consumption. I wish I could sit in on some of those FCC meetings.

I would like this book for my birthday. Any takers?