To The Battlestations
Oi. Too much W-O-R-muthafuckin’-K. I’m dreaming of a calmer time when I can sip cold beverages in the Hammock and listen to Twins games. Although the hammock can be a dangerous place these days. My neighbor’s kid has an arsenal of high powered ‘Water Canons’ that would make Donald Rumsfeld blush. This kid is partial to his new gun which houses a special chamber that keeps water at bone chilling temperatures. I’ve told him time and again that he doesn’t want to start this war but he seems determined to escalate things. I predict a complete ‘Shock & Awe’ overreaction on my part followed by a swift rebuke from the neighborhood council. Hoses are at the ready…