Hunting The Queen
Security breach! Alert Donald Rumsfeld, the exterior perimeter of the Skelton Ranch has been compromised. SUV sized black ants have come in from the cold and are foraging in the upstairs bathroom. Fucking yuck. My fear is that we are being overtaken by terrorist Carpenter Ants. If this is the case, we got problems. These guys are big and black, which unfortunately for them makes ’em easy targets against the white walls and white tile of our bathroom. The vacuum cleaner has been working overtime to suck up these little devils. The cats sit transfixed watching them meander about. Last night, I located a small hole tucked in the corner between a ceiling beam and the interior wall. I stuck a Johnson & Johnson mint flavored toothpick in their portal and haven’t seen an ant in the bathroom since. My theory is, if they chew through the tooth pick then they are definitely carpenter ants.

My preliminary intelligence gathering on Carpenter Ants tells me I should abandon any DIY strategies for their total annihilation. Bummer really, as I had imagined I would take a similar approach to our campaign in Iraq – use the 870 Remington shotgun and just start indiscriminately blasting holes in the walls. ‘Learn from our leaders’ is my motto. Nope, I think we’re going to have to hire professional assassins for this job. Apparently, you have to hunt down and silently take out the queen. Anything less just aggravates the drones and leads to more splinter cells and satellite nests. Currently my top contender, my bug-Rambo if you will, is this guy. His web site alone makes me want to hire him. I’ll keep you posted with detailed combat diagrams and body count totals.

Bonus: Democracy: a free and open source internet TV platform.

Also, Urban Gymnastics. Amazing video. This would be a sweet addition to the Summer Olympics.

And, a Flickr set from Space Patrol (1966), the first German science fiction television series.