Let There By A Duel
If ever there were grounds to see a proper modern day duel between worthy protagonists, I can think of no better opportunity than this James Frey versus The Smoking Gun scandal. Hot damn. We’ve got a full blown literary scandal on our hands here folks. Even the major television news programs have replaced their endless stories about the Sabo mines and Lindsey Lohan with a controversy regarding a book! Man, that’s so 18th century. I love it. If I could wish for just one thing in 2006 it would be for MORE LITERARY SCANDALS.

Now, the only thing that’s missing from this scandal is a good olde fashion duel at dawn. Back in the day, when someone called ‘bullshit’ on you in print you didn’t appear on Larry King (with your mom!) to clear your name and beseech your enemies. Nah uh. You got busy with pistols, rapiers or foils. I think this is the only way we can really get closure on this controversy.

I propose that James Frey and a representative from The Smoking Gun put it all on the line. I think the duel should be a public one, fought in some mammoth stadium, like the ones used for that game they play in those Harry Potter books. The James Frey crowd should be wearing turquoise t-shirts with ‘Go Jimmy’ printed in boldface. The Smoking Gun crowd shall be clad in Orange shirts with a Maroon block print of, what else, a smoking gun. And the duel should be an up close and personal kind of affair, so I recommend short swords or daggers. Vegas would go nuts. My money would be on Frey, especially if Oprah was his Second.