Emergency Toilet Installation

The fun has already begun here on the Skelton Ranch! Not five minutes after we finished moving our stuff from the moving trailer into the house we discovered that our upstairs bathroom toilet had for some time been leaking nasty poo and pee jelly into the walls and ceiling of our downstairs bathroom.

Luckily, the misses was so repulsed by the wallpaper in the downstairs bathroom that she had already begun tearing it down. Thank god she made that executive decision. Had I lobbied harder to keep the wallpaper, we might have never known what dirty terrible secrets were hiding under those walls.

Even before this problem surfaced, I was already over the upstairs toilet. It was a low boy and sat at least six inches shorter than anything I’m accustomed to. It felt like I was squatting in a Guatemalan rain-forest every time I went to take a crap. It was also a serious low flusher – totally useless against my bowel armies.

A new emergency toilet installation was called for. Lucky for us, Joe Hockett, who knows a thing or two about installing a good crapper, took the reins. The offending toilet, with its second rate plumbing, was ceremoniously put out in the front yard and then blasted with buck shot from a Remington 870 (the neighbors love us already). A few hours later and after three trips to the Home Depot and another couple side trips to the hardware store, a tower of a toilet (with extended cab) called the Cimarron was flushing at full power. Oh Cimarron, what good times we will have in the future.

Next up: cleaning up the poo jelly and learning to put up some dry wall. Who’s with me? Home ownership is AWESOME!