Soy Crack

Is anybody else as addicted to these things as I am? They need to start selling Soy Crisps by the 10 gallon barrel because I’m starting to feel guilty at how fast I can crush one of these little bags. I haven’t tried all the varieties yet. Currently I’m partial to the Deep Sea Salted ones. But a 3.5 oz bag?!? That’s nothing! I can empty that in the time it takes me to unpack and shelf all the other lesser groceries that I bought. I know they are supposed to be good for you (7 grams of protein and all) but they must put some chemical in them that makes you pant like a horny poodle when you see them in Aisle 3 all lined up – showing their colors like the plume of a great peacock.

The misses is also hooked on these things, which is not good. Anytime you’ve got two people living under the same roof who covet a food stuff that comes in a 3.5 oz bag you’re bound for some hockey style face-offs and old west showdowns. The solution of course is to buy lots and lots of little 3.5 oz bags but then you look pretty foolish at the checkout line and your house looks like it was hit with a garbage stick after a Soy Crisp binge that leaves several small 3.5 oz bags littered on several surfaces with others wedged between the cushions of your couch.