Lactose Intolerant

We’re just now starting to come out of our frigid cold snap. And man was it a mean one. I was down for most of the weekend with galactic bowel performances brought on by my increased slide (juvenile pun intended) into lactose intolerance. This weekends bout was triggered by an unassuming cafe macchiato consumed from Bob’s Java Hut Saturday night.

I am stubborn and am having trouble coming to grips with my L.I. I am in full denial about it in fact. I eat ice cream with two middle fingers aimed squarely at my stomach. But the counter punch from my quivering abdomen is like a first round K.O. from Hilary Swank circa Million Dollar Baby. “How you like me now, Be’otch” screams my lower G.I., as I frantically try and focus on the words of a Harpers article in between burst of screaming pain. “I’ll bet you’ll think twice next time before eating that ice cream!”

I need to move past this denial faze fast. Luckily, my L.I. isn’t complete and total. I can still eat cheese and eggs seem to be ok. But anything with creams or heavy dairy sauces put me down. French food is completely off my menu. Pasta with cream sauce? No way. My biggest fear is that my L.I. will get worse and soon even an unassuming Pizza Luce pizza will send shivers through my bowels. This would be very sad.

In between bathroom visits this weekend I watched two good documentaries courtesy of my new love, GreenCine. Born Rich is a fun flick about the 21 year-old heir of the Johnson & Johnson fortune who tries to get a grip on all the money he’s going to inherit by interviewing all these rich kids that he knows. He tries to get them to talk about their money and explain what it means to be a kid who doesn’t have to do a lick of work to get cash. Made me wonder if rich people get irritable bowels. I might also recommend the Andy Goldsworthy documentary Rivers and Tides. This Scotsman does some inspired work. I’ve been a fan for a long time. It was great to get a glimpse at his creative process. More Goldsworthy here and here.

Also, huge props to Bill Shatner for his Golden Globe win. I haven’t seen your show but I’m positive you deserved it.

And, cool t-shirts by archinect and amazing furniture by henrybuilt.