Tactics for Tax Evasion
I can think of a thousand things I’d rather be doing than figuring out my taxes. Putting out lit cigarettes on my tongue? Hell it’s better than filling out an M1 form in triplicate. This year is an especially tough one. The tax quagmire is so large that I’m going to have to call in more troops and hand everything over to the professionals.

Every year at about this time I get the strange urge to reorganize and re-alphabetize my entire vinyl collection. Go figure. This year is no exception. I am now in the throws of an extensive ‘ground-up’ 12-inch restructuring program that could take me well into the month of May. My office looks like a cityscape filled with poorly constructed skyscrapers. Every towering stack (except for maybe the German Disco section) looks like it could topple at any moment. I move carefully. But the stacks bring calm in this tax season. Trying to figure out where to file “Music to Break a Lease By” (Is is ‘Sixties Pop’ or do I start a whole new category of ‘Music to *Blank* By’) is a far more soothing and focused task than figuring out my deductibles. If only I owned a record called “Music to Do Your Taxes By”, could I then move on to more responsible endeavors. The hunt continues.