I Hate Joe Leiberman

I woke up yesterday with the unfortunate knowledge that I was going to have to watch Joe Lieberman on NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’. My Sunday morning ritual involoves a pot of coffee, reading the sunday paper, frying up a cajan potato breakfast I call Spicy Russert Potato Surprise, and then watching Mr Russert do his thing on Meet the Press. It’s a great warm-up before football starts. It usually gets me all fired up and I end up throwing sections of the newspaper at the Television. Sometimes, if Tim’s guests are especially loathsome and if the Green Bay Packers fall behind in their game, the entire newspaper and everything else in the livingroom is amassed in a poorly built shrine at the bottom of the television set. Knowing that Lieberman was going to be Tim’s guest put me in a terrible mood. The mess I was going to have to clean up later was going to be epic.

So, damn, you can imagine the great joy I felt when I turned on the lie-box and saw not Joe Lieberman’s idiot head bobbing up and down but Nick Nolte’s mug shot being shown with lot’s of men shooting Ak-47’s into the air. Oh damn, wait, that’s not Nick Nolte, hell that’s Saddam! Holy crap. They caught Saddam alive. Whoa. Time to make another pot of coffee.

I have to admit I was pretty excited about seeing Saddam being captured. It was a surreal, almost comic book moment, like Spiderman finally defeating Dr. Doom. I think I would have remained excited about it, were it not for everyone turning it into a decisive American political election moment. Everywhere I turned for news of the capture the chorus seemed to be the same: “Yeah!! We captured Saddam, Death to the Howard Dean Campaign!”, “We found Saddam and Dean is a big fat weenie!!”

What gives? This rhetoric wasn’t even coming from the republican pundits. They were just proud to have their one shinning victory. All the demo-robots: Kerry, Gephardt, Leiberman, were all out beating their chests and stopping only short of claiming Dean cleaned the rat poop out of Saddam’s ‘spider hole’ in their screed against him. The Dean bashing was tagged to the end of almost every news report yesterday: “The Green Bay Packers beat the Chargers 38 to 21 and now they have their sights set on Howard Dean” -and- “Sandra Outscouts Lill to win Survivor Seven, ‘The Pearl Islands’. And oh by the way, Howard Dean is a pussy. He wouldn’t last a day on Survivor.”

The gloves are definitely off in this here democratic primary. Should be pretty fun. I certainly would give all my money to a worthy charity just to see Dean punch Leiberman square in the jaw on live television.