King Charlie and my Lawn-Salad
I’ve been putting off a horribly violent battle with several squadrons of Creeping Charlie that have in recent weeks gained a military focus on overcoming my lawn with all the Shock and Awe that its scalloped green leaves and running webs of ground roots can afford. Last week, I noticed that a new shipment of troops had arrived fresh from some R&R somewhere on the Northside, and if I didn’t put down a Patton like plan soon that I was in danger of being egregiously outflanked and soon all would be lost to King Charlie.

Saturday, I took inventory of my stockpile of weapons and thought over all the possible instruments whose wrath I might employ upon the long stems of disorder and anarchy that were making lazy pirouettes up my walkway and laughing, yes laughing at my lack of preparedness. I read about the Boron method online, but the chemical mixture seemed too unstable and if I got the measurements just a bit wrong then I would be responsible for a lawn genocide. The thought of that much collateral damage on my shoulders was more than I could carry. A trusted advisor of mine, told my about RoundUp. But again the collateral damage and death of innocent plants that would come from using such a chemical, made for a quick classification of WMD and therefor not an option.

Exhausting all the possibilities of containment and control, I knew that I was faced with the long and laborious task of taking on King Charlie with my bare hands. One unit at a time if I had too. It would be a dual for the ages.

And thus the battle was fought. King Charlie put up a good one and even got assistance from other plants that had a thornier exterior and inflicted some good shots, but as Sunday night drew to a close and I stepped back to admire the pin-point accuracy of my thorough and ‘smart’ carnage. I was pleased and very happy.

But what to do with all the dead and wounded? Easy, make Creeping Charlie Tea.