Holy Crap, You Didn’t See That
Nightmare morning. I had a vicious battle with my good friend Insomnia last night. A night of a thousand nights. When I woke up so thoroughly unrested at seven, I relized I had left my contacts in overnight and my left eye was glued shut from some internal eye defense system that left me fumbling, panicked and pissed off. Oddly, I thought of science class in the sixth grade, and wondered why the hell I didn’t have an eye wash in my home. No household is complete without an eye wash. Luckily I was able to loosen the crude in the shower and gain full access to my vision field.

Oh but that was just the start. I was running late for a presentation at Macalester College I had to start at 8:30AM. I went to warm up the Brougham but the damn Car would not start. The battery was so completely dead, and the misses’ little Jetta did not have the proper power to bring her back to life. So I took the misses into work. Took her car (your a lifesaver baby). I dropped her off in downtown Minneapolis at about the same time I was supposed to be starting my presentation in St Paul, and then got back on the highway only to find myself parked on 94, lurking about a mile back from some four car pile up. It was only 8:45 AM.

I finally got to Macalester and got set up with no problems (p.s. I love you OS X – you make things so easy). The presentation was going smooth. Then I started in on some long polemic diatribe. My computer began to feel neglected so it decided to fall asleep, and as I had instructed it to do but had forgotten about, put up a random image on the screen pulled from my iphoto library. That random image was one of me – old school:

I of course was facing the audience and didn’t see it happen. Oh the embarrassment. After I realized what happened, I turned quickly and lunged at my machine to get rid of the cute kid on display for all to see. But I was too late. The damage had been done. My reputation was shot. Nothing like a damn picture of yourself as a child to discredit any and everything you had said or would say for the rest of the show. My only conciliation was that I think people realized the similarity between the picture and the presenter and did not believe that I had random images of young boys on my machine. Yikees. It was the perfect humiliating exclamation point to end an entirely odd and humbling morning. But whatchya gonna do?