The Evidence is Clear
The roads look like hell this morning. Our Wo-bee-gon town looks like one giant ice skating rink with a cool layer of slush puppy thrown on top. From my breakfast nook, I’m watching a rusted out cream colored Bonneville arduously dovetail it’s way up 35th street. There is enough snow on the ground to muffle the sounds of street activity and morning ritual. Many are still asleep or walking around in a stunned stupor after watching the Raiders dynasty collapse before its crowning. What an awful game. Apparently it was the Raiders who missed ‘the message in a bottle’ that the best defense will annihilate a strong offense on any given sunday. Thank god for half-time shows and MTV Cribs for filling in an otherwise dull sporting event with drama and surprise. But these are the words of a bitter loser and someone who lost piles of money betting on Gannon’s arm. Hell, I think the Massilllon Tigers would have had a better shot against the ‘Bucs than Oakland did.

But really, that was just the warm up act. Now comes the Real Showdown. I’m getting ready for head coach Hans Blix to come in at 9:30 this morning and deliver hints at his world game strategy. Bush will of course counter tomorrow with some sorry state of the union, drawn from a playbook handed down from a future hall of shamer. But, from what we’ve seen from Assistant Coach Powell the U.S. game strategy is as hollow as Shania Twain’s attempts to shake off the ‘little bit country edge’ and turn pop diva. It’s a damn lie and no one will bite. I have to believe that even Coach Powell isn’t all that happy to be swimming is a pool of such shallow rhetoric. If the world demands proof and all you’ve got to say is, “The evidence is clear”, then it sounds like you’re talking down to us for not being able to recognize the clarity of the situation – or, you haven’t got a clue, and the only smoking gun is the one you happily sold Iraq back in the days before instant replay and the Carolina Panthers. So, If I have to choose between whether the Powell/Bush team is talking down to me or obfuscating the situation, I’ll choose the latter. Damn, after watching that silly bobble head special teams coach, Andrew Card use language like “Holocaust” and “Whatever means necessary” to trounce Senior Saddam, I have no choice but to start betting heavily on Blix. Now that Superbowl XXXVI is still squarely in the rearview mirror, let’s all remember to chant this week, “A Strong Defense beats a Strong Offense”.