Readers of these narrow pages and the comrades who watch me devour huge plates of greasy fries at local midnight eateries are well aware of my excessive use of the condiment known as Heinz Ketchup. If there were a help group for abusers of this tempting tomato treat, I’m sure that there would have been an intervention long ago and I would now, after years of shock therapy, scream in fright at the site of a 20 oz bottle of spreadable, dippable love. But there isn’t and so I go on in a cloud of bliss, drain whole bottles in one sitting and befuddle the help when I request a second bottle of ketchup when I haven’t even ordered my first beer.

I am always pleased to try just about any variety of new Heinz Ketchup product that comes down the marketing pipe from the wizards at H.Q. (I still have a bottle of wild purple ketchup in my fridge) and was no less enthusiastic when I discovered that Heinz was releasing an organic ketchup. Finally, I can shop the organic co-op just down the block and buy everything I need for a good grill out and not have to make a separate trip to another store just to buy ketchup. That organic Muir Glen brand posing in the condiment isle as ketchup is a cruel joke on the intelligence and taste buds of all and should be eradicated from the consumer landscape with the speed of economics.

It’s interesting to note that the Heinz organic ketchup is a whole lot thicker and perhaps chunkier then its un-orgaganic and less viscous older brother, which makes me wonder if a) there actually is no real difference between Heinz regular and organic ketchup and that the wizards at Heinz inc. think that organic just means thicker and with more “real” whole looking chunks (New Heinz Organic Ketchup! Now with bigger and and thicker chunks! 25% more organic than the next leading brand of organic ketchup), and b) how many French fries do I need to dip at one time in order to provide a sufficient barge for which to transport the heftiness of the organics. These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

Speaking of condiments and greasy food, tomorrow I am heading to the Minnesota State Fair. I’ve kinda avoided it for the past few years. The last time I went, I ended up drinking on and off stage with the Goo Goo Dolls bassist, Robby, who was actually a pioneer band weblogger back in the day. I also got him to admit that they hadn’t made a decent album since “hold me up”. But that whole night ended in barnyard craziness and I was barely capable of finding my way back off the fairgrounds. I do remember stumbling into a new modern RV show and quickly running into one, shutting and bolting the door, and falling asleep.

Tomorrow at the fair the mood should be calmer. I am most looking forward to the livestock judging. Especially the Swine Spotted Hogs event that will be held in the Swine barn. I will try and take a picture of the winner and post it Wednesday for all to enjoy. Also on the docket tomorrow is the Celebrity Animal Calling. With local newscasters calling their favorite animals. Take note of the cool wood type poster designed for the fair by HartungKemp, with wood type borrowed from my typography teacher, Bill Moran’s archives.