I’ve probably floated through Target stores more than a few hundred times in my lifetime. I didn’t think there was a piece of real estate at Target that I hadn’t contemplated a purchase or needless accessory at some point in my life but the other night Kelly had to pick up a gift for a baby shower she’s going to this weekend and it immediately hit me upon entering the newborn micro-human aisles that this was totaly new and uncharted Target territory for me. I discovered some wonderful things there and some downright frightening odd ones as well. On the wonderful tip, I found that they make a baby hooded towel, which I think is just too dope. It’s kinda like a robe but it’s defintely towel material and it’s got a hood!! Kinda of a Don Ho meets Muhammad Ali type of lounge wear for the little drooler. I think someone really dropped the ball not making a version of this gear for the post-diaper crowd. I would love, and would rock daily in my hammock, a hooded towel.

On a different vibe, was this crazy stuffed bear, that when you twisted this knob on it’s back would begin to make these terrible sounds like a dying Darth Vader, which I learned from reading the packaging is supposed to be an audio emmulation of sounds from the mother’s womb. I know. It’s bizarre. You gotta check it out for yourself. Now, I’m not sure why I find this slightly creepy, but I definitely remember something in my childhood psych class in college about not letting your child dwell in infantile stages. I thought the whole point was to move ’em on, like, OK your done with that whole womb thing now get ready to do some talking and walking and here’s some Jay-Z and Herbie Hancock to fall asleep to.

Well it’s obvious that I’ve got a heck of a lot to learn from the baby aisle at Target and so I will now make it part of my routine to pay a visit and see what new things are being pushed on the net-yet-ready-to-shop demographic.

(editorial and typographical corrections by k.d. 5/27/02)