It doesn’t take much to remind you these days that danger, mayhem and madness lurks not in the dark shadows of our streets but in the brightest damn daylight. Under your nose. They might even be in line at the check-out stand. If you look hard enough, if you tune into the frequencies of the “up-to-no-good”, it’s obvious that their flocks are growing. Kelly has developed an almost Spidey-sense for the “up-to-no-good”. She’s got a special radar for these kinds that make me think she’ll make Sheriff one day.

Friday, we’re at Cub doing our grocery shopping for the week-end and this Queensryche wannabe comes straight out of Heavy Metal Parking Lot and jumps in line ahead of us at the Checkout. He says nothing to no one but calmly stacks up ten boxes of Aphedrid Tablets!?!?! Now anyone who has watched “C.O.P.S” knows that Aphedrid is one of the principle ingredients found floating around the front seats of stolen pick-up trucks all over Georgia and is used in the chemical construction of the drug popularly consumed as ‘meth’. You just don’t buy 10 boxes of Aphedrid for a bad head cold. But Dr. Dokken, as you can see by the receipt pictured above, does, not only that, but doesn’t even buy anything else. Gum? Cola? Pretzels? “No thanks. just the Aphedrid for me tonight.”

Of course, I’m standing there oblivious to the whole thing. All I can think about is the one pound box of Whoppers in the cart that I am desperate to rip into. But Kelly’s onto him – has been onto him since he walked into the store. She said she didn’t tell me until he left, cause she knows i would have fucked with him. Sometimes the misses knows me too well. Damn. She watches the whole thing go down and snatched the receipt in the hopes that somehow his credit card number is on it and then his name. Sheriff McGruff’s going to turn The Cult guy in. Send him up river. But alas he got away. No good info on the receipt. We also wonder just why the hell this guy and his ten purchases didn’t raise an eyebrow or some red-flag with the Cub Foods cashier? Aren’t they told about these things in training? Doesn’t she watch C.O.P.S? Must we now live everyday wondering in what house lurks the mad meth scientist and his evil ways? We must! For now, we are paying special attention to anyone in the neighborhood listening to that “heavy metal” music.
Not in my backyard Bon Jovi!!