I went to my old friend Tomo’s wedding this weekend and struggled voraciously with my low-impact digital camera to take some pictures. The Kodak DC280 Zoom was operating on it’s own digi-rhythms, belching and merciless, succumbing to the thumbs of a hand that knows no other digits. It’s favorite thing to do was to wait about 1.7 seconds after I framed what was no doubt a perfect glimps into the heart of ceremony — the birth of new hope and unwavering vows, and to take that image and pause…pause until the flower of love moved out of frame, which, when you have participants promenading, gathering, posing and disbanding, becomes quite tedious and hurtful.

But it wasn’t a complete bust. Far from it. On solid ground we drank wine and learned that Jesus was down with that funky shit from the get go. If you thought J.C. was some kinda party pooper you guessed wrong. Special thanks to Grandma Ruthie for all the gambling tips, Las Vegas lessons and for reminding me of the secret to writing a successful saga. May you continue to rob that town of all it’s riches. Next time I hit the tables at the Golden Nugget, I’ll raise my glass to you and follow your Blackjack instructions to the letter. Your strength has taught us well!

And so forth…am I the only one that thinks the Snow boarding half pipe event just makes for bad Olympic Television? It must be a blast to experience “the pipe” from the ground level of Salt Lake City, but all the fancy camera angles in the Olympic World can not bring a modicum of suspense to this sport. The life and death action of the luge and the ski jump are missing, the suspense of any sort of racing against another person or a clock is painfully absent and the Sum 41 soundtrack just isn’t doing it for me. Who bribed the Olympic Committee into allowing this sport to cross over? And please, when are the curling finals on T.V.?

While trying to improve my own Olympic experience at home, I’ve come up with my Top Ten records to play while watching the Olympics with the sound off:

1. Tony Bennett “Love Story”
2. Nigeria 70 The Definitiive Story of 1970’s Funky Lagos
3. Gary Bartz “Singerella: A Ghetto Fairy Tale”
4. Herbie Hancock “Rockit”
5. Paul Jackson “Black Octopus”
6. Quincy Jones and His Band “Big Band Bossa Nova”
7. Lee “Scratch” Perry “Blackboard Jungle”
8. Tone-Loc “Loc-ed After Dark”
9. Peace Orchestra “s/t”
10. Henry Mancini “Touch of Evil Soundtrack”

This record has helped me to stop smoking. If your trying to quit and would like a copy of it, please get in touch…