Drizzled to Death
Another impossibly dreary day in the land of 10,000 lakes. Something like 25 of the last 27 days of May have been overcast with heavy periods of rain. On the rare occasion when the sun does finally push through the clouds, it’s only long enough to mow the grass that now grows at an unprecedented rate of four inches a day. It’s an unbearable, unvarying weather pattern. Lileks puts it best today: “The jet stream, it seems, is like a big dog that circles our block in an endless loop, with Minneapolis as its favorite fire hydrant.”

It’s worse than winter in that during the month of January I expect things to be insanely cold with ample amounts of snow. My mind accepts that and I dress and prepare accordingly. But I expect more from the month of May. I expect to be able to wear shorts (a clothing item I haven’t even bothered to unpack from my summer clothes chest). I expect to be outside, to ride my bike, to do more in the garden then just weeding large beanstalks of overgrowth.

I remember a time when I used to live in Portland Oregon. There was this really long spell of overcast days. People were going a bit nutty. Private airlines began booking flights, for folks who could afford it, to take them up above the cloud line for an hour or two just so they could remember what the sun looked like. I’m desperate enough at this point that I would sign up for something like right now.

Last night while watching the Twins umpteenth extra-innings game I got suckered into watching the Minnesota boy win the National Geographic Bee. What drama! Although I was rooting for Minnesota all the way, I was bummed when that cute 11 year-old kid was knocked out. Then they mentioned that the 11 year-old kid had already taken his SAT’s and had scored a combined 1570. Then I didn’t feel so bad for him. The misses went online to see what school the Minnesota boy went to. Of course, it turns out the kid was home schooled. No surprise there. I kept thinking they were going to ask a question like: “name the US state that suffers from the absolute worse year-round weather EVUH?”. The Minnesota boy would have corner pocketed that answer easy.

Also, famed pirate, Blackbeards ship may have been found, and Vicelands Best Thrash Mascot (D.R.I. all the way baby!).