The Gift of the Sith
We received this menacing Darth Vader gift card for use at Target Stores. ‘Press To Light’ and the saber glows and out of the voice box in the upper left comes Vader’s breathy asthma doom. I have a hunch that if you use the card at Target and you don’t buy something somehow related to the Star Wars movie (of which this is absolutely the worst offender), then, when the the cashier swipes the card during checkout, s/he will surely give you quizzical looks as you stuff your bag with Swiffer refills and the new CD you bought: Echoes of Nature: Morning Songbirds.

I have to hand it to George Lucas however, he (or more likely one of his minions) really stumbled upon something terrifying when he/they made Vader’s breath all bad-ass like that. The fact that Vader, channeled through a harmless little Target gift card, can still raise the hair on the back of my neck still says something. [Yeah it says something…it says you’re a big huge Nerd! Sucker! – Triumph].

Using the Target gift card I have scientifically tested the effects of Darth’s menacing breathing on three different pets. All three animals reacted negatively towards the breathing. And all three agreed that one should put as much distance between themselves and the Darth card as possible. There you have it. QED.

Also, a great making of the Star Wars logo from the women who designed it. Man, she actually used a pencil and a ruler to make that shit! That’s so sci-fi!

[note: if you clicked your mouse where it says ‘Press To Light’ thinking it would do something, then you my friend are a really, really, big dork]