Saddle Up and Ride
I thought I’d watch the end of the ACLS Game 6 last night while I mixed up some five-spice powder and set the rice to simmer. I had no idea I was committing to yet another extra-inning marathon that would take me deep into the night – ending just before the Daily Show and John Stewart’s explanation of why he bitchslapped CNN’s Tucker Carlson.

These extra-inning affairs are really starting to take their toll. It’s especially hard to watch former Twins player David Ortiz win every game for Boston with his supreme clutch hitting. Clutch hitting was so missing from the Twins post-season. Seriously tho, why the hell did the Twins trade Ortiz?

Hey, saw that puppet-movie this weekend and I laughed pretty damn hard. The songs were my favorite part. There were some great Lee Greenwood “I’m Proud To Be An American” mocking songs which were especially poignant and funny after I had to sit and listen to a shitty ass-clown patriot-act approved country (and western) anthem entitled “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)“, which was played in the theater before the movie previews even started. The song, sung by a group of musically challenged halflings -birthed from the ill-legit conception of John Asscroft and Rush Limbaugh, is so offensive in every way, that I wish only bad things happen to the tour bus of a band called Big and Rich. I curse you once for these lyrics:

An’ I wouldn’t trade ol’ Leroy or my Chevrolet for your Escalade, or your freak parade:
I’m the only John Wayne left in this town.

And I curse you a thousand more times for evoking the great and lauded Willie Nelson in your damn song. I also curse the daughter of Hulk Hogan, whose empty song I was forced to to listen to as well. God damn, now I’m all worked up. Lessons learned. Get to your movie as late as you possibly can or suffer the torture of listening to pop-songs that have less to offer then that jujube stuck to the bottom of your shoe.