Saint Paul Saints
The Twins need to get themselves an outdoor stadium immediately. Watching the Saint Paul Saints, outdoors on a cool summer night, you can’t beat it. If you get there late (because you got distracted by a box of cold Red Stripes tailgating in the parking lot) then you get into the game for $5. Special ‘Fashionably Late’ price. That’s actually what’s printed on the ticket. At the Metrodome you’ve got your choice between warm shitty Miller Lite or Budwieser in a wide-mouth plastic bottle, at the Saints game they have Summit beer on tap. At the dome you’ve got a roof. At Midway Stadium, the night sky is an ever-changing tapestry of color and light. The only thing they don’t have at Miller Stadium is a baseball team that I know anything about. It didn’t even dawn on me to look at the scoreboard until about halfway through the sixth inning. But the ball game is background, like the Union Pacific trains rumbling slowly along, not 20 yards pass the back of the center field fence, or the Girl Scout pillow fights that take place in between the fourth and fifth innings. It’s just like one large piece of art. And on a good night it’s the best seat in town.

Actually the best seat in town is the giant Spa water pool tower in left field. Sometime during the fifth inning someone in our crew noticed that the spa seating, usually reserved for company types, was sitting abandoned. The call was made to scramble. We rallied along the outside track, spotted the tower, saw the reserved for “Rollover” sign, and in a move that would have made Chevy Chase in Fletch proud, we fast talked our way up to the deck, I believe I was named CEO of Rollover. We enjoyed several strong innings at the spa tower. We ate Rollover’s hot dogs, drank their beers and tried to steal their free ‘Saints’ towels. I think we would have been left unmolested in our high tower if that same someone hadn’t decided to actually fire up the whirl pool and take a dip. I think that must have set off some alarms somewhere and we were quickly surrounded by security and forced to abandon ship. Good diplomacy and level heads prevailed. There was nothing but good vibes traveling through our wandering party. We broke from security with hand shakes and smiles. Just another day at the park.