Children of The Corn
Glorious and perfect, ripe within an inch of exploding, Minnesota Sweet Corn has returned to our dinnertime tables. Whether gently grilled over hot coals or dropped in a pot of boiling water for three minutes, the end product gets slathered with butter, sal, and a bit of cayenne pepper – making it the perfect summer candy.

This weekend I was a pathetic slave to the Sweet Corm and ran all over town to buy it and eat it. I braved the farmers markets. I dodged the incense venders and endless rows of 14 pound zucchinis. What the hell does one do with a zucchini the size of a two year old boy? My efforts paid off and I was rewarded with heaping sacks of corn, a few peaches and a barrel full of green beans.

In between my fevered corn feastings this weekend, I rented a canoe and paddled around the lake of the isles in and amongst about 5000 other people who had the same summer idea. It was comedy. If not for my confident and daft abilities in the stern of a canoe, I’m really not sure I would be here today writing these words. It was truly amateur day at the lakes. When renting the canoe I wondered why it was necessary to put down a damage deposit. But after witnessing the physical limits that other paddlers pushed with their own boats, it became all too obvious that the deposit was necessary insurance. I saw one poor older women in a yellow kayak get pinned against a rocky embankment when two large, blisteringly sunburnt humans, paddled (and I use that term loosely) their canoe directly into her starboard side pushing her vertically up against the wall. The funniest part was that you could see most of the impending accidents almost a full 30 seconds before they occurred. Steering challenged folks would get on a course and if anything got in their path then it was game over. Instead of actually trying to correct any of their navigational mistakes these people spent the last fifteen seconds before an impact pre-apologizing to the people they were about to slam into. I just sat back and drank good rum from a flask, smoked small cuban cigars and watched the action take place from a safe distance.