Exercise the Mind by Destroying the Liver I’m trying to gear up for tonight’s heated intellectual debate. Mental push-ups, people. Tonight’s intense political discourse will no doubt be historical, the barbs and jabs so electric, one might – if one held their head just so – see a slight pale glow hovering over Miami. With …
Monthly Archives: September 2004
Meet the Wiggles Back from the Germanic olde stylings of bountiful Milwaukee. Exhausting. The little kids that plied for my attention all weekend wore me right the hell out. So many wandering and fragmentary innings of baseball played. Huge castles and kingdoms were erected and then surreptitiously connected by loose wooden railway systems. The older …
Toys R’ Melancholic What the hell happened to Toys R’ Us? What was once the flagship, the mecca of my childhood toy browsing has become some kind of enfeebled flop house of gummed up mockery. Seriously, I’ve been to third-world toy stores that were far more uplifting and chipper than the gloomy, forgotten shelves of …
The City of Milwaukee is America’s Next Top Model In a sudden perfect storm of events, family itineraries, and rare opportunities, the misses and I will be road tripping it out to Milwaukee Wisconsin. We will be staying with Kelly’s cousins who have recently made a new baby. They also have a slightly older kid, …
Incredible Cereal Review Another trip to Cub Foods means another cereal purchased and devoured – one more chapter in my never ending quest for the perfect movie/cereal cross promotion. This weeks candidate is the cereal for the movie The Incredibles. The Incredibles cereal is bold and creative. Its anthropomorphic edible bits enjoy the look of …
The Pen Unlocks Us All Not long ago I lived in an apartment along a busy street in Saint Paul. The domicile was a solid brick building that had fallen into disrepair as the owner/landlord didn’t do much in the upkeep department. Nowhere was this more apparent when it came to the locks that held …
Talkin’ Baseball Smack Daddy! Even after being beamed his first time up at bat Barry Bonds cranked out a home run last night to join one of the most exclusive clubs in baseball – The 700 club. His cute little daughter looks very happy for him. The above ‘Barry Bonds tribute font’ is called Ballpark …
The Attack of the Stealth Melodica This morning got off to great start. I was going through The Ramones catalog, forming my own tribute to Johnny Ramone, when one of the cats wandered into my office. She paused, listened to a few bars of a song, and then promptly barfed a stream of yellowish gruel …
Fashion Report: Arsenal of Freedom Hey kids, did you know that this years hottest new accessory for fall isn’t your beloved 70’s style poncho. It’s not even that bright colored counterfeit Hermes bag you bought for thirteen bucks in Chinatown. So five minutes ago people. No, as of this week, with a special fashion shout …
Save Betamax That’s right. You heard me. Get on the horn today and call up your Senator. Shout loudly about how important betamax was to your early childhood development. Tell them about how you watched Star Wars 54 times before the ribbon snapped. And then tell them that you are concerned about the ‘Induce Act’, …