Frozen Solid A quick check of the temperature this morning reveals a deadly Minnesota story and a plot driven by unbearable circumstances. It’s -24 degrees right now. My one goal for this morning, for the whole day really, was to get myself a bearclaw from the local bakery. That plan is shot. Four minutes outside …
Monthly Archives: January 2004
Warm PantsOn cold days like this one, where the forecasted high is -2 degrees, I’m oh so pleased that I remembered to put my Adidas track pants on the radiator last night. They’ve been steeping all night. Putting them on is pure satisfaction. It’s so good in fact that I might have to buy five …
The Silent Guest Woke up this day to find a new blanket of white powder covering the walk and yard. When I went to bed last night it wasn’t even snowing. Unlike a good April thunderstorm that announce it’s arrival with pomp and circumstance, the winter storm is more mysterious and silent. It’s always a …
Bad Trivia During a game of Trivial Pursuit last night I was forced to read this unwholesome question: What type of examination are you enduring if a doc gives you a “finger wave”?
Billy Ruff Sells Drugs This little public service announcement posted on the large dumpster that my neighbors are using while remodeling their house, left me doubled over in laughter yesterday. I’m not sure what makes it so funny but I love it nevertheless. I like to bring it to people’s attention. At my local coffee …
Mustard Seeds for the Soul Last night was a frightening night to be an American who doesn’t see the world through the same M21 sniper scope that George W. Bush does. The prophetic undercurrents of manifest destiny, empire building, and privatized hypodermic-crazed health care were all just polite ornamentation on a foreign and domestic agenda …
For Every Defeat There Will Be a Victory Oh man, who do I have to bribe to get one in the win column these days? It’s not even the end of January and yet Defeat seems intent on a pile-up. First, my football team lost at the hands of those putrid Eagles and then my …
Ten Minutes to Wapner My television has a new channel. It’s called the Style Network and it just appeared out of nowhere this weekend. I’m not sure if it’s here to stay or if they’re just giving it to me to take for a test run. Most likely they want to get me hooked on …
Vacation Snaps: Part Dos Seven more snaps from vacation land. See ’em here. I can barely bring myself to look at them as the gray weather and cascading thermometer now mock my every move. It’s as if the Minnesota weather is out to teach me an exceptionally bitter and destructive lesson. A punishment for my …
Wanted: Virgin Killer In the course of the last few weeks, The Misses has mad the dubious realization that the last two books she has read have come straight off the Reading with Kelly Ripa Book Club. Now, being the sensitive nonjudgmental gentleman that I am, I can’t pass up the opportunity to hold this …