March 23, 2007

Seeing What He Sees
What do you see when you look at this image? I can't make out a damn thing. To my eyes it looks like crappy track lighting that I should be updating. Oh, there's a heating vent and smoke alarm there too. This is what my son sees when he's lying on his back on the downstairs ottoman, and for him it's the greatest spectacle on earth. Seriously, he will stare up at this arrangement for hours, laughing and smiling like he's watching a particularly funny episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I just don't see the humorous element in this image. It doesn't move. It doesn't make sounds. It's completely devoid of color. And yet, he'll actually get grumpy if you take him away from staring at this scene. When he finally learns to talk, I'm going to have a few questions for him.

March 05, 2007

Rub-A-Dub-Dub
The folks at Baby Einstein need to seriously rethink the electronic baby "music" that bleats out of their toys. We have his one play-tent thing that features a musical star that blinks lights and such. The music absolutely terrifies my kid. He hates it. It takes about one bar of a tune to turn my child from a fun loving baby into a pint-sized King Ghidorah. If I had my way all the baby toys would come equipped with a Dub selector, which would play bass heavy riddims to rock and sooth the boy. There should also be a microphone connector and echoplex box that would allow fathers across de nation to toast up their babies.

The misses reported this morning that the boy uttered his first words sometime last night. I'm skeptical (the science isn't totally accurate) but according to her his first words were . . . Al Gore. Where he picked that up I have no idea. But I'll go on record here and say that if Al Gore does end up running and winning the White House in 2008, then I'll be getting Nostradamus Jack an agent right quick.

Today I'm feeling nostalgic for the Mold-A-Rama machines they used to have at the Como Zoo in Saint Paul.