February 22, 2007

Olde Tyme Walkabouts
Let the record note: these ludicrous allegations being spread around the internet that Howard K. Stern might be the legitimate father of baby Jack Skelton are totally and completely false, and frankly WILL NOT STAND!

My mother reminds me from time to time that when I was born it was during the time of the famous Watergate hearings. These hearings were on television and gripped the nation. My mother would nurse while watching the fates of important men and their political careers unfold. Well mother, it's no different today. Well, except I can't physically breast feed. And that riveting trial about important men? Ok, the trials actually about a bat-shit crazy dead model and her maligned drug posse. But damn I bet Nixon and his cronies on their worst behavior couldn't make television this good.

This past December the misses converted her families old home movie from VHS to DVD. Here's a little glimpse at Jack's mom when she was a wee little one. Note: none of the old movies had sound, so I inserted a little J Cash to give it some bounce. Ain't she a cutie?

February 18, 2007

JMS is One-Month-Old Today
Things move along at a rapid pace here in babyland. Jack is already adventuring into his fifth week on planet Earth. As parents we are still in the fog that comes from round the clock newborn care. I've become a bit edgy from all the sleep deprivation. The other morning one of the neighbors began jack-hammering concrete at 8 AM just as I had got the boy to fall asleep. He woke up. The other night a tele-marketer called (caller ID) at 8:30 pm (!) just as the boy was getting comfortable with the idea of falling asleep. The boy woke up. I would have answered the phone, if I could have reached through the cable wires and strangled the sleep intruder on the other end. Seriously, is it too much to ask that the rest of the world stop what it's doing and get on the same page with us and our baby's sleeping schedule?

Yesterday, we took advantage of another gorgeous day around these parts and went for a great walk through Gabriel Park with Captain Smalls and family. The boy loves his Baby Bjorn. All that bouncing puts him into a deep slumber. Attempts to rouse him so he could check out all the dogs at the dog park were in vain as he preferred to just sleep through it all. Afterward, we stopped by kid-friendly PB & Ellie's Cafe. That place fulfills the top two requirements of new parents: 1) they serve beer and, 2) if your kid is screaming it's no big deal because all the other kids are screaming.

Lately, I've been wishing I had the super powers to move things with my eyes.

Bonus: Some future house goodness on YouTube: The Plexiglass House, Appliances, Submarine Trains!, Verner Panton's Visiona Video Tour, Mar Vista Residence in Second Life, Hybrid Machinima Experiment.

Super Bonus: Faster, Monorail! Kill! Kill! (trailer)

February 08, 2007

Neurosis & Nighmares
Like some strange haunting, I've become fully inflicted with Phantom Crying Neurosis (PCN). I hear baby Jack crying even when he's blissfully under the spell of slumber. It's like a prerecorded MP3 tucked into the tiny folds of my brain that gets randomly inserted into the playlist of life. Or like a bad pop song that you just can't shake. Sometimes I hear the track playing all by itself, and instinctively I go marching into the babies room only to find the baby fast asleep. Sometimes I call out to the wife, "What's up with the baby?" And she replies: "Nothing, idiot stick! He's asleep. Now quit bothering me, I'm tying to bulk order strapless dresses from nordstroms.com while I still got all this extra cleavage."

And so it goes. The worst is when there are other noises about the house like the dishwasher, washing machine, or the television. If any one of those devices is churning out sounds, then it's a good bet my ears will pick up a frequency somewhere in there and turn it into a full blown "someone is boiling our baby in hot oil" melt down.

I'm not going completely mad. However, I might be projecting. You see, yesterday, there were three confirmed episodes where the kid began crying whilst asleep (visual confirmation was obtained through numerous red bars on baby monitor). Yet when the parents approached the crib, the kid had returned to calm and was totally sacked out. Did he have a bad dream? Do babies even have nightmares? Perhaps the answer is much simpler and instead of infant night terrors - that I can only suspect would involve being attacked by giant vanilla scented soothie pacifiers - he simply had to fart.

February 06, 2007

The Portland Pill
I have to say, I love the new Tram that's running here in Portland. I don't care if I never even ride the darn thing, I just like seeing it in action. The other morning I was driving down I-5 through some intense low lying fog. Just as I was driving under the tram cables, one of the pill cars burst through the fog with great majesty. Any Film Director would have given their Cinematographers left-arm for the shot.

Of course there are some stunning shots of the Tram up on Flickr (Like the one I stole for this post): tram, tram, tram.

Monorails are also cool. I want to live in a city with just monorails, trams, bicycles, and skateboards for transport. And flying skateboards.

February 05, 2007

The Best Of You
If someone were to have told me yesterday that Prince was going to play a Foo Fighters cover during the Super Bowl halftime show, I would have slapped them and challenged them to a duel for spreading such lies. And yet, this did actually happen. What a cool world we live in sometimes.

Funk Soul Brother from Minnesota making us proud.



Bonus: Incredible Design - The Folding Chair. This would be my pick to win every furniture design award this year. Via bb.

February 04, 2007

Margaritaville
I can hear the boy beginning to squeak through the baby monitor so I'm not sure how much time he's going to allow me to write anything of consequence. Those wee little monitors control my life now and bark furious orders and bold proclamations. Things are definitely on his schedule and he's the big boss. This week the boy's been gaining strength. He's got little fists of fury and can deliver a healthy kick if you're not paying close attention. He's developing intense control of his neck and practices by leaning way back to stare up at the ceiling. He's still sleeping with gusto and keeps to a fairly regular schedule which helps out a lot.

Kelly's mother has been around this past week which has been incredibly helpful. I think the ideal ratio for baby parenting is three-to-one. The mother-in-law gave Kelly and I a chance to dine out - just the two of us - Friday night. We were desperate for margaritas, so we went down to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. Usually this restaurant is packed when we've been there on a Friday night. But when we walked in, the seats were sparsely populated. Things seemed a bit off. We took our seats and a few seconds later our happy waiter came over and delivered his opening line: "Hola, can I interest you folks in some chips or some appetizers. Perhaps I can start you out with some Cokes or some waters."

"No Thanks", I said. "We want Margaritas! Big ones! In fact just empty out some salad bowls in the back and make our drinks in those."

"Oh sorry, sir. We lost our liquor license and we don't have any booze any more. Not even beer."

As new parents, who rely on the concentrated power and mental stabilization that comes with the healing medicinal properties found in booze, this was far-and-away the worst news anyone had spoken to us since the boy arrived in our arms. A mexican restaurant with no booze is like a bird with broken wings.

Pictured Above: My first attempt at a ReadyMech Flatpack toy. Via Massdistraction.