October 31, 2005

Afrojet Costume Contest Winners
For my costume this year I went dressed as a photographer for Citysearch, which turned out to be, not just a pretty easy costume to wear but a fairly convincing one as well. Folks lined up for the chance to win the City Search's 'Best Halloween Costume in Portland'. Unfortunately, those folks will have to live with just a bit smaller scale celebrity status. Afrojet enjoys celebrating the 'trick' aspect of Halloween just as much as the 'treat.

For me, the hands down winner goes to the genius execution behind 'Team Zissou'. The attention to detail here was so good that there had to be speculation that these folks might have actually worked on the movie set. I was also impressed by the fact that an actual team was put together and it wasn't just a solo Steve Zissou mission.

The 'axe girl' & 'doom jesus' costumes get the honorable mention. 'Axe girl' gets huge props in my book for those spooky eyes and for being one of the few women of the night not sporting some kind of '________ slut' costume. I was a bit disappointed in the ladies this weekend as a good majority of the costumes fell into the 'what kind of stripper are you' motif (see: nurse stripper, cop stripper, pregnant britney spears stripper, devil stripper, dead stripper, etc, etc.).

Also note: the real axe that 'Axe Girl' is carrying. The security at the show didn't even hesitate to let her in with it. You gotta love that.

October 27, 2005

It's A Catastrphe
Another weighty telephone directory showed up as a blight on my lawn yesterday. Before I take it down to the garage and feed it to the chop saw, I thought I'd share with you, all the fine business establishments here in Portland that have chosen a name that really takes control of the moment and lets you know what 'it' really is. If you'd like to be challenged by this list, think of them all as snappy little quotes and then try and match each one to a character on The Simpsons who might say that line (example: 'It's Party Time/Disco Stu)

It's A Beautiful Pizza
It's A Dogs Life Day/Playcare
It's About Hair
It's About Time Jewelry and Clock Service
It's All About Service
It's All Arranged
It's All Good
It's Fran's Vintage Advantage
It's Just Lunch
It's Me!
It's My Pleasure
It's Party Time
It's Your Logo Inc

Update: After my "It's" post the 'House of Leach' shoots me an email and responds with his favorite list. Comments in parentheses are his own. To wit,

"I decided to check up on MY favorite business naming cliche "The House of..." Here is an edited list from the first directory on our stack: Minneapolis 2000-2001:"

House of Balls (the first listing...seriously!)
House of Cinemagraphics (I wouldn't expect any real original work)
House Of Dreams
House of Fades (in case H.O.C. is booked?)
House of Hui's
House of Iron (take that, Mr. Wolf)
House of Java
House of Kai
House Of Liang
House of May Nin
House of Ming (these last four were consecutive listings; the owners must thing it's really an 'American' thing)
skip one...next: House of Moy
House of Note
House of Oak (more trouble for the wolf)
House of Rental (Not For Sale)
House of Vacuumns (hang onto your hat when entering)
House of Wu (!)
As I review the list, I realize that one of my favorites is missing! There was once a very funky 'House of Breakfast' in S, Mpls.

October 26, 2005

Hell-O-Ween
There is something about the late October air, the quickening onset of the darkness, the slow, amber laced death of my Japanese Maple tree, and the approaching witching hour of Halloween, that has turned all my attentions to the sonic appreciation of Metal. The more horrifying the better. Luckily all this will come to a head this weekend in the form of a hallows evening spent in the brain dripping squeeze of a Sunn 0))) & Boris show. We will wear hooded cloaks and sample absinthe lollipops and hallucinogenic infused Butterfingers!

The brilliant poster for the the Sunn 0))) & Boris West Coast Tour was designed by the impossibly brilliant Aaron Horkley and printed by the affable Burlesque. Hopefully they wont be sold out of the posters by the time they get to Portland. Burlesque created a fine little video of the poster's printing process. And here is a sketch with notes.

Also, check out some vintage halloween cards: here, here, and here.

And Vice has the First And Maybe Last Annual Vice Halloween Costume Contest.

October 25, 2005

The Buccaneers of Elliot Bay
Another great trip up to Seattle this past weekend. Partied with Brother J and the rest of the Wages of Sin at their historic record release party. Sea-shanties have never sounded so good. The gig was at the Jules Maes, Seattle's oldest bar (founded in 1888).

We began the evening warming up for the gig back at Brother J's house, drinking Budweiser on the front porch. For reason's I can't explain the neighbors play host to a flock of pigeons that live in the eaves underneath their roof. At one point we were in the front yard examining some items in the driveway, when, out of nowhere the entire flock of birds launched out of the eaves and immediately dive bombed our party. In the first half second, I was in awe watching this storm of birds (approx 25) fly out of this small hole, then awe turned to horror as I realized they were coming down on us. I was able to crouch and turn my back at the last moment before I felt one of them slam into my left shoulder and another graze my ear. Then in mass they headed up and disappeared into the sky. It was a terrifying Hitchcockian moment. I was told this was the first time they had ever done that before. Fuck pigeons. They are nothing more than rats with wings. Next time I'm up there there's going to be Ted Nugent styled retribution for that unprovoked assault.

The best Metal band in the land, Early Man's new record 'Closing In' is out. Check out part one of this promo video they did where they bought sponsorship on a demolition derby car that was auctioned on eBay. Also more bands should put out promo album medley's like this one. But then not every band can bring the riffage explosions that Early Man can.

October 20, 2005

Pam's Drunken Dogs of Judgement
Got over to the Portland Art Museum (Pam) yesterday. Checked out the new Mark Building which houses the Jubitz Center for Modern and Contemporary Art. Got followed around way too closely by a security guard that looked like Buddy Holly. He looked determined to catch me shoving a Rothko down my pants, so I played along and made many furtive movements, darted around corners quickly, and generally just stood excessively close to paintings and statues. It was a real post-modern cat and mouse game.

If I was indeed going to steal a piece from Pam, it would definitely be Jean Baptiste Greuze's 'The Drunken Cobbler'. This painting just sings with moral judgment. I'm surprised it never ended up on a straight-edge album cover. Anyway, I love it. It's so melodramatic and over-the-top.

Over-the-top drama really belongs to the Baroque paintings - most of which I find very creepy; it's like watching reality television with it's distorted reflection of culture and the use of drama for the sake of aesthetic ornament (note: America's Next Top Model, for reasons I can't really explain, falls hypocritically outside this critique).

Perhaps it's the pervasive use of dogs in these Baroque paintings that really creeps the crap out of me. Seriously, next time you go to an exhibit of Baroque, check out the dogs. They're ubiquitous and they're fucking evil as hell. Usually tucked into one of the peripheral corners of the painting, sometimes half-transparent, mostly sporting a countenance of cruelty, and always rabid, these dogs look like they have the hunger for the flesh of man.

October 18, 2005

Skelton's Alphabet Workbook
Boy am I excited when I make a discovery like the one I did last night. I was just settling in to read Eric Gill's An Essay on Typography when I noticed that the introduction to the volume was penned by Christopher Skelton. Immediately, I was curious. Another Skelton interested in Typography? I jumped on the glorious internet and embarked on a grand journey. The Press Archives at the University of Reading note that Christopher Skelton was a printer, typographer and nephew to Eric Gill. Christopher Skelton ran a small press called Skelton's Press located in Willingborough. From the looks of it the press specialized in limited edition runs of books about typography and the printed arts. Searching through many of the rare book dealers I found several editions like 'A Mortal Craft' by G.R. Davis, The Book of Quiet by Michael Harlow, and Mid-Week Period Return, Home Thoughts of a Native by John Wain. This book looks especially interesting for its "reminiscences and reflections of the author on a train ride from Oxford to Stoke-on-Trent, with drawings by Arthur Keene". There is also a book at Powells called 'Variations on the Theme of 26 Letters' by David Kindersley. It's only $44 and I'm very tempted to go get it.

But the fun doesn't stop there. I also found a book published by Skelton's Press called Skelton's Alphabet Workbook. The author of the book is John Skelton! Whoa. How cool is that? John Skelton's obituary from The Guardian notes that he too was a nephew of Eric Gill's which would mean that Christopher and John were brothers. John Skelton also learned sculpture under the tutelage of Gill, "A vociferous member of the Royal Society of British Sculptors from 1955, and sometime vice-president, his opinions were steadfast, and his dedication to his artform, and its base in traditional craftsmanship, obvious...Skelton believed in the importance of craftsmanship and drawing as the starting base for all artists." Check out a small sample of John Skelton's work. He also founded his own workshop called John Skelton's Workshop (what a great name, eh?). John's daughter, Helen Mary Skelton now runs the workshop, teaching classes on lettercutting. Check it out at Skelton Workshops.

October 14, 2005

Craftsmanship
My daily inspiration for getting work done comes from this gigantic spider and his (her?) daily web slingin' creations. I felt pretty good about the nice laminate flooring I installed in the downstairs bathroom last night but after catching a glimpse at the fog infused architecture my spider buddy rocked over night, I feel like the bar has been raised to an unattainable height. Of course my first gut instinct was to take one of the left over pieces of laminate flooring and give that spider's playground a little taste of imperialistic 'Shock and Awe'. You think you got the upper-hand, Wünder Spider? Fuck you. I could dust your whole village with one good swing!

What's the point tho, whatever I tore town today would be built back the following day - bigger and deffer. No, I made my peace with this spider weeks ago and the spider now serves as my daily reminder to get shit done. Kind of like a living, evolving version of those 'I-never-graduated-high-school' successories poster.

October 12, 2005

New Star Tribune
My heart goes out to the designers behind the newly relaunched Star Tribune. What an epic project, and one that will no doubt be received with a chorus of a thousand boo's and 'you sucks'. Anytime you change something that's been around for that long, you're not going to find many people to give you a high five. My hats off to the Star Tribune for taking this bold move and moving the paper forward. It makes me want to subscribe again even though I don't live there anymore. Also, very nice use of Whitman, TheSerif, and PoynterODText. Check out the redesign blog, James Lileks, flash tutorial on the redesign, and what folks are saying.

The Luxury of Knotty Pine
Just returned from a relaxing retreat in the upper most point of the State of Washington. The beautiful Semiahmoo Resort was our destination. Highly recommend this spot if you're looking for a getaway. They got one hell of a cheese plate you can order up to your room. The resort is situated on a peninsula in Semiahmoo Bay. If you stand on the porch and look across the bay you can see the shores of Canada. When the wind is just right you can actually smell the Universal Health Care rolling along the border.

In anticipation of the road trip up to the resort, the Skelton family bought a new car. The old one was dying and seriously pissing me off. It was time to take it out behind the shed and hasten its demise. The best thing about the new car, besides the fact that it's new and not broken and gets insane gas miles (after owning a few older cars, I didn't even know that kind of gas milage was an option!), is that it came with three free months of Satellite XM Radio. Hot Damn, I must be contemplating cheese plates too much these days cause this Satellite Radio business was completely off my radar. No commercials, tons (and tons) of stations, great reception, and most importantly I guess - great music. And not just music. I was gassing myself up on this road trip listening to the comedy station that plays all stand up comics. Classic Eddie Murphy, the one where Eddie impersonates Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor? Still Funny. My favorite station on the XM dial (insert a chorus of boo's from the misses) was the Audio Visions station. It advertises itself as the "Soundtrack of the Galaxy" and if this is true then I would expect an angry alien invasion any day now, "Attention people of earth: please turn off the soundtrack of the galaxy or we will destroy your planet. Also, tell us where we can find this Enya women as she must be neutralized!" This is also a very dangerous station to have on while driving a motorized vehicle at 80 miles an hour. It's true that Audio Visions does indeed "create a place you can escape to when the world seems all to real". Unfortunately that place is better known as, 'sleeping', and one shouldn't escape there while hydroplaning in the passing lane.

October 07, 2005

Customize Your Friday
A wet Portland Friday is upon us. Flapjacks are sitting heavy in the belly and it's time to get down to some work before we throw in the towel on this week. Portland welcomes the Fucking Champs tonight at Sabalas. Massive amounts of guitar pyrotechnics are what's need to round out the work week and jump start the weekend. Can I get an amen?

Some fab custom lunch boxes are up and up at lalalandgallery. Or if dolls are what you're after, create your own munny with your own design. Or buy one from someone famous for charity. I like 'em just plain white.

Also, someone's got a cool pad in Portland.

October 06, 2005

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
My stepfather, while on a recent trip to Los Angeles, visited the Justice Brothers Museum and took amazing photos of some of the old race cars that they had on the museum floor. He emailed me a few of the cars and I was loving the type styles on the numerals. I asked if we would collect for me the numerals 1 through 10. Sans-serif, slab-serif, crazy serif, they're all there. My heart fluttered a bit when I saw that gold '9' with its devilish tails. It's so top heavy it looks like it just wants to roll over.

Here are some fine type photos from flickr: wood type, 2 (this 'two' comes from the Hamilton Wood Type Museum in Wisconsin and hangs on the wall measuring something like 4 x 6 feet), 4 (a hard life).

Andy Clymer has captured a beautiful 'the'.

The Walker Art Museum has a discussion about the new Walker identity and font Walker Expanded, designed by the ineffable Eric Olson of Process Type Foundry. Check out his new grotesque font called 'Maple', as in, "Let's all go hang out at Maplewood Mall ya'll".

October 04, 2005

Poltergeist
n: a ghost that announces its presence with rapping and the creation of disorder

This morning, in the space of one minute, these three events happened in quick succession:

1. the power went off and then on causing my computer to shut down, the lights to flicker and the smoke alarm to squeal,

2. a Golden-Crowned Kinglet flew into my office window and fell to the ground,

3. one of the cats threw up.

I was very unsettled for a bit. Outside, I found the small bird after searching for a long time. It was alive and tending to a wing. I was afraid that I was going to have to 'deal' with the bird somehow. But, when I prodded it with a stick, it hopped around for a bit then promptly flew away. I went back inside and cleaned up the cat vomit.

October 03, 2005

Chemical Slow Down
Looking for a new hair texturizer with unlimited styling possibilities and long lasting hold? Put away your fancy Aveda hair control granules with marshmallow and flax, cause I got a homemade recipe for hair gel that will have everyone at the office asking, "How does Johnny get his hair to look so good?".

Simply take four parts drywall dust (freshly sanded with superfine 360-grit sandpaper). Add a generous amount of oil based primer/sealer. Now finish it off by twisting the tips of your hair follicles gently with a bit of orange peel spray texurizer (set to fine). Tada! Not only will you have manageable hair that you can contour and build into any shape Eero Saarinen could have imagined, but your hair will smell terrific.

This weekend I finally finished repairing and cleaning up this mess. I don't even want to go into the amount of horrible chemicals that had to be dialed in to bring the bathroom back from its toxic surprise. Suffice it say that today I am feeling a tad under the weather and I have no doubt that even with all masks worn and safety precautions taken that the chemicals got the best of me. But it was worth it. The 'greenboard' water-resistant gypsum drywall turned out damn clean and square (if I may brag for a second), and now with everything pulled out of the bathroom and the walls a sparkling white, the ball is in the misses' court to choose her paint color.

As I toiled this weekend, the metaphor that was continually with me was that of those Russian nesting dolls. You can't complete one project without a bunch of nested little projects hiding underneath. But you never know what those projects will be until you uncap that first one.

Also, is anybody else watching that Breaking Bonaduce show on VH1? Man is that guy a train wreck. I love it.

Save The Gorillas.