April 29, 2003

Apple's New Music Store
I've been playing with Apple's new music store for the last 24 hours and have the following thoughts.

First, I think Apple has missed its target audience with this product. Either that or I suddenly have fallen out of the bulls-eye target market. I don't think the latter is possible as everything else they release makes me drool. But this one missed for me and here is why. I love the Apple aesthetic, the design, the entire lifestyle - slap me and put a Apple tattoo on my ass. When I buy an apple product, a computer or a piece of software, I really like to eat it up. I love the boxes they come in, the manuals, the smell of the plastic bags that once held a memory upgrade. Apple knows this about its market (about me) and usually caters to it without flaw.

I carry this same appreciation to my music buying and appreciating. I love not only the music on an album but the the whole album - the liner notes, lyrics, sleeve design, even the damn thank you's and the bar code. I need it all. Although I like the instant gratification of downloading digital music, without the proper context of the offline CD or album, something is lost. Because Apple's new music store currently fails to allow me to both download songs and buy the album for my own archives and appreciation, it is failing to allow for my full appreciation of an artists product.

It seems to me that the current Apple music store would be greatly enhanced by aligning themselves with an offline/online music retailer such as Amazon. Then I could both download the tracks of an album for instant gratification and receive the actual physical album a week later. Better yet it would be great to get a digital download of the tracks and then receive the physical copy in another format like vinyl. That would be awesome. I would even pay a few bucks more for that.

Another disconnect between the Apple music store and my music tastes and needs becomes abundantly clear when I search for more eccentric artists. I'm sorry but you can only own so many R.E.M, U2, and EMINEM albums. And the artists that I am able to find aren't entirely accessible through the Apple store because their albums contain song tracks that break the five minute barrier, thus making them unavailable for download. So you are limited to top 40 artists that have songs under five minutes. Boring. And at 99 cents a song, I am unmoved to purchase anything. I know I'm a cheap bastard but it doesn't help Apple cause to know that the most downloaded songs on their service are also the most easy to get using any free piece of shareware such as Acquisition or Lime-wire.

So to wrap things up: new Apple music store - useless, overpriced and boring. New ipod: Looking pretty smooth.

April 28, 2003

The Target Trance Blues
I simply cannot walk into a Target store and purchase only the few things I need to get me through the week. It's just impossible. The colors! The shiny things! They draw me in. I'm rendered a hapless fool. By the time I'm done shopping my cart is filled with more impulse purchases than necessary goods. I try and fight it, but the damn breath mints, extra socks, stationary, beach towels(!?!?), Go-gurt, they all laugh at me from the bottom of my cart - mocking my lack of consumer will power. I try and keep my head down and make good speed for the isles that contain the items I need. But soon enough I'm broken and derailed. I'm meandering - trapped in a Target vortex - inexplicably putting things in my cart. Once I am home and the Target Trance has worn off, I reluctantly peek into my bag(s) and confront the damage. Why?

April 25, 2003

Fun Friday Links and Crafts
Galaxia has put together a wonderful site, chock full of good things for the ears and eyes. It's one of the only places that you can find all the books of Ed Templeton's. Good T-shirts and mp3's from cool artists like Papa-M, Ray Barbee, and the Lee Brown Society. If you like Ed's work you can also get a free Ed Templeton sticker if you sign up for the 'free' Peta newsletter.

In the same vein, ohiogirl has some excellent photography, and a design portfolio that highlights a lot of their Jade Tree album cover projects. You can also get your maze on there and submit your own for the big maze contest. Smooth.

This guy can read records. No, not listen to records but read them.

I want to get some of this shrinkydinks paper for my printer.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Cool Barry McGee 3D toys.

Accessorize your favorite kitty in these swanky hats for cats.

April 24, 2003

It's No Cluetrain
Something's up with the economy. Holy shit-balls... I hate to break the bad news folks. I don't know what you all use for your internal economic compass - those things that you see and hear on the day-to-day that point your gut to a positive North or negative South. Perhaps you watch the stock market. Could be the economy is a direct reflection of who got kicked off "The Bachelor" last night. Maybe it's the bitterness of the bean from your favorite coffee shop? You tell me.

For a long while, I used to believe the state of the economy was a direct reflection of how many trucks I would witness on the highway as I drove to work. I used to keep charts and graph my data every morning against the stock market. My central hypothesis is as follows: The number of trucks on the road is a direct correlation to the robustness of the U.S. manufacturing sector and reflects an increase/decrease in the demand for U.S. manufactured goods. All those eighteen wheelers had to be moving units round the country right? It just made sense that if you don't see trucks moving units that that was a good sign that peeps was oversupplied and product was sitting on shelves. Investors would no doubt be concerned about this and would force management to lay off workers.

Sweet hypothesis no? Well at least it gave me something do to as I commuted to work. If I only saw four or five trucks on a given morning, I would run around the rest of the day like Chicken Little. But what I failed to realize - what I was denying the whole time - was that I have a fascination with trucks and trucking. The lifestyle. The tight logos on the trucks. I was mesmerized. I was consumed with envy. I watched the movie "Convoy" like 100 times. I made up reasons to be 'into trucks'.

Once I abandoned the Trucking Rubric as an economic market indicator, I needed to find a new measurement. I needed something tangible - nothing I could read or be spoon fed. I like my economic data raw and uncensored. I like to touch it with my hands and smell it's bargaining power.

I think I may have found it.

It's a little more subjective but it works. Fuck, it's even hard to describe but here it goes. The state of the market is a direct reflection of the number of weird sales products, their pitches, and the people pitching them.

Maybe an example will help. Yesterday, while pumping gas at a station called the Bee-Hive, which is famous for having an enormous plastic bee-hive perched on its roof top, I was approached by a shifty and skinny leathery tanned shorty who came at me in a strange arc that looked like he was rounding second base and heading for third. He said he would only take a minute of my time and wanted to know what cologne I used. He rattled off a number of brand names and said he just happened to have a truck here that was overstocked with product. He could get me a great bargain. What did I use? I told him nothing. Sometimes I used this stuff by Aveda for Men, but I didn't really wear cologne. He was nonplussed. He tried a few more angles, insulted me, said I wouldn't get chicks without one of his colognes. I wasn't buying. He left me thinking I was a eunuch. I noticed several other people using the same shtick on others at the station.

Driving home there were two guys on Hennepin Avenue selling kittens out of a box to people stopped at red lights.

The other day while eating lunch at a delicious Indian restaurant, I witnessed two, fresh out of college, sales hacks try and convince the restaurant proprietor to switch his long distance carrier from Qwest to AT&T. It was pathetic. They tore open his Qwest bill and examined it. After a minute or two, one of young sales punks turned to the proprietor and told him they couldn't save him any money on the bill but, "you should really switch to AT&T - don't you know who we are?" Which was followed by the even more convincing, "haven't you seen us on T.V.?" Stellar sales tactics. Insult your customer until they plead for mercy and buy your product. The whole ridiculousness of the event was further punctuated by a large rooster mascot that I witnessed out the window of the restaurant. It was dancing outside of a Tires Plus in the sun. It was making 'raise the roof' gestures, trying to convince people through pantomime that they needed to pull in and purchase a new set of tires. Roosters to sell tires? It was funny. The economy is in trouble.

April 22, 2003

Nina Simone
Nina Simone was/is one of my favorite vocalists of all time. Her lyrical beauty and honest lyrics has been an incredible musical discovery for me. I can't think of jazz or soul without thinking of Mrs. Simone. Her voice and her words are important and that's a gem that's quickly becoming a stone of the rarest sort. See Line Women (mp3) is one of my favorites.

April 21, 2003

Jetiquette
Today's word on Word Spy is Jetiquette. A rough guide for those who look after their airline etiquette.

(JET.uh.kuht, -ket) n. The rules or norms that govern correct or polite behavior while on board an airplane.

Another great example of how to splice the word "jet" with other fab words of the english dictionary. It's a whole science in and of itself. I expect all those who visit afrojet to follow a strict jetiquette when reading and linking from these words. Ha. That's good.

From the above link, read the five tips from British Airways' manual on proper jetiquette. I really like number 2: "Saucy Canoodling under the blankets is out. No one else wants to watch your passionate embraces and 28 per cent of passengers actually complain about couples making out on flights." Now that's just good jetiquette.

April 20, 2003

My New Pumpkin
Isn't that a pretty little thing? My very own Jiffy Pot Pumpkin. It's still small - only five days old right now. It sprouted about two days ago. Today I removed the remains of the seed that it was wearing like a tiny little hat. Today it shot up to almost and inch and a half tall. It's gorgeous don't you think? I hope to grow a State Fair size pumpkin from the comforts of my very own home. I will become the midwest's largest grower of indoor pumpkins! Simple pleasures...

April 17, 2003

Machines. Damn Machines.
If it ain't one thing it's another. I thought the brougham (my '85 Olds) was heading for a slow death last night. I was caught in rush hour traffic in some terrific horizontal rainstorm when slowly the juice just started to leave the car. The lights started dimming, the windshield wipers began to slow down and stutter across the glass, my radio was growing quiet and dying out, the whole car sounded as if it wanted to just give up and rest for awhile. My only hope was the accelerator. Somehow, the faster I went the more the battery appreciated it and gave life to my ride. But the traffic was packed up like a tight burrito. I had to ease up and a silly panic began to set in. I was sure that if my car came to a stop that it would mean defeat. My only shot was to gun it and hope for the best. In what must have looked like a drunken and desperate sprint across numerous lanes of traffic, I forged on and pushed the car to keep moving. I followed the path of least resistance, hoping that I would be able to get my road sled off the highway before I became a fool in the rain - a wet character sketch with a lame duck auto stalled in lane three. I desperately didn't want to be that guy who you hear about during the rush hour traffic reports:

"Yeah, Bob, we got a big maroon car stalled in the Lowry Hill Tunnel, it's backed up I-94 for 15 miles both ways. It's a mess. A tow truck is in route but it could be a while...Now back to the Jazz..."

No way was that going to be me. So I did this weird dance to keep the boat alive. I kept the accelerator down, downshifted on the slope, maneuvered on shoulders, and eventually got off the highway. Once off the highway, I blew through a few stop signs and hopped a concrete median to get to the safety of a gas station and my salvation. The garage inspection team wasted little time handing down their verdict: "You got no alternator belt kid".

Yup, the damn thing had come clear off. I suspect foul play, neighborhood hooligans or some such aggressors.

Anyway, I just got back from picking up the vehicle, equipped now with a new, state of the art, bright black (military grade I'm told), accelerator belt. Whoopee! The thing runs like a derby champ now. But I ain't out of the fire yet. I just got word that two of our blessed servers have been hacked. Yup hacked. And now I must negotiate another catastrophe. Damn You Hackers! Stand Down cause I'm a coming after you.

April 15, 2003

Twin Cities Type
"How might a typeface express what is unique about a city?"

That's a big bad question to ponder or try to answer? How do you develop a typeface that imbues: 'Minnesota Nice', an evolving cosmopolitan ethnic insurgence, University of Minnesota student riots, and two cities that fight and play across a winding and polluted river?

That's just what Eric Olson set out to answer when he developed a new series of fonts called Locator. Eric submitted Locator for the Twin Cities Design Celebration 2003, which asks designers from around town to conceptualize a new type for displaying the Twin Cites identity.

Locator is a beautiful typeface much in the tradition of current sans-serif fonts like Zuzana Licko's Tarzana and Adrian Frutiger's Frutiger. Eric delivers a nice addition to the release of Locator with a simple site that documents 'the process and development of the Locator typefaces'.

April 14, 2003

Speak Any Engrish
I've always wondered if those local Hipsters who walk around uptown with t-shirts and hats that have asian characters on them actually know what they mean or if they just wear it for the stylized look of the characters? My guess is the latter. Which means of course that there are asian folks walking the streets laughing at the Hipsters cause their t-shirt, translated, spells out, "I Have Toe Tumors". Luckily for the laughed at Hipster, this phenomenon goes two ways. The results of which can be seen at engrish.com.

Better Than Coffee
I almost bought the whole farm this morning. You really can't beat an absolutely-near-fatal, morning bike commute calamity to loosen up your arteries and get your heart beating on all four cylinders. You can't get that kinda rush from caffeine. The car must have been going 50 and it probably missed me by less then three fingers of whiskey.

The beginning of the bike season is tough. I've been out of practice for five months now and I'm making some dumb mistakes. Rookie mistakes. The first couple of weeks are always the hardest. I've lost my spidey-sense over the winter. My muscles arn't the only things that have to remember how to operate on two wheels instead of four; my brain could also use a sharper edge. Luckily today's incident should grease the wheels of gray matter and hopefully reboot some survivalist directory that got lost somewhere around January. Let's be careful out there...

In other dangerous news, we had a full blown 'Night of the Living Rednecks' incident this weekend, when the Minnesota Gopher Hockey meatheads got all boozed up and then stomped the streets of Dinkytown burning everything in their path. The pictures looked similar to images being taken in another town being overrun by meat-heads somewhere in the Middle East. I tell ya, if given the choice to be accidently thrown into a crowd of angry anarchist war protesters or happy hockey rioters, I'll take my chances with the anarchists any day. There's nothing more dangerous than drunk frat-nazi's looking to blow off a little post-sport patriotic steam. What I don't understand is that this same thing happened last year when the Gopher hockey team won the national title. What gives? How many times do you need to 'almost get hit by the car' before you learn your lesson?

April 11, 2003

All My Music is Haram
Oh the things you can learn on the "internet". It's astounding. Today, I learned that pretty much all the music I listen to is Haram. Which is to say that under the Islamic code - Allah ain't down with it. I got wise to this when researching something on the U.S. Department of State website and jumped on a link called Muslim Rap Music. The fact that such a link would be sitting on the U.S. Department of State website at all was cause for pause. The link introduces a positive muslim rap roll model outfit called Native Deen. In reading about their music I learned that it's mostly all percussion and voice. Moreover, the rigid rules of the islamic traditional dictate that string and wind instruments are taboo. Now I know diddly-squat about Islamic religion, so I was curious as to why certain instruments, especially those that would add melody and tune to a piece of music, would be considered outside the sacred cache of acceptable noise makers.

Doing some loose research, I failed to find anything that detailed the reasons as to why these instruments were off limits (If anyone knows, please drop me a line and educate), but I did find a rather complete guideline on what music is acceptable to specific islamic settings, as well as strategies for moving your musical tastes towards more Allah-friendly tunes. The best advise being:

...most of the popular music that's available today is pretty trashy. It's definitely not going to encourage you towards taqwa and proper Islamic behavior. Why make things more difficult for yourself by listening to what tempts you towards the wrong? Keep your heart pure and make sure that only good sounds come into your ears, if you can help it.

and also...

Learning to give up listening to music is very difficult. It is truly a jihad. You may not be able to go "cold turkey".

I have to agree that most popular music is 'pretty trashy', but 'learning to give up listening to music' is a tough pill to swallow. Huge props go out to the Islamic fundamentalists; that's hardcore sacrifice. No Missy, no Beatles, no Run-DMC, no Dylan, those people, those musical artists, - that's my worship. Those are my prophets.

I've never really been excited about religion, but if I was ever lost in the woods and had to point my spiritual compass somewhere, I would probably point it at a radio tower. For me, a world without music is a world without GOD.

April 10, 2003

Revisiting Planet TRON
Recently I re-watched the movie TRON on cable. What a dope flick. I love watching these early eighties sci-fi movies on cable. I've probably watched Logan's Run like twelve times this year already. That movie tops the charts. But goddamn TRON...I can't believe its been 20 years since my brother and I first snuck into the Maplewood Mall II theaters to see it. At the time TRON was a very un-disney movie and the cool by us as we were reaching the age when Disney cartoon movies were not cutting it anymore.

Watching it now it's nuts to see how much TRON is still influencing pop-culture and design; it's futuristic production design is everywhere. The new 2003 Dodge Tomahawk is nothing more than a supped up Light Cycle that Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxlietner were so deft at riding through the grid streets of TRON world. Most of what makes TRON so amazing (it surely isn't the plot or screen writing) is the forward thinking minimalist production designs. Most of the designs for TRON came from the mighty pen of super sci-fi illustrator Syd Mead. Checkout these early renditions of the light cycle. On Syd's own site you can also see what he's been up to lately, including a proposed fantasy design for a new World Trade Towers. More cool illustrations of Syd's can be seen here and here. Syd Mead also made a boss Hotwheels car too called the Sentinel 400 Limo. I may have to get my geek on this weekend and go buy the 20th anniversary edition of TRON.

April 09, 2003

Art Crawling
Grumpy's bar on Washington Avenue has officially organized OX-OP and will play host to a number of great traveling street/folk/pop artists this summer. Check out their online calendar here.

Get into the wonderful world of panoramic illustrations as produced by the NY team of Kozyndan. Their use of bunnies is hypnotic. Check out this piece and this topical piece.

The Yumfactory has delicious art too.

April 07, 2003

Ten Strange Minutes in the Life of
I sat down to read Davy Rothbart's, The Lone Surfer of Montana Kansas, and noticed my arm was bleeding. It didn't hurt, but it was making a mess. If I wasn't careful and didn't act quickly I was going to bleed on a lot of things. Which was annoying cause the whole point of settling down for some lit time was to get my mind off the thickness of the day and retire to the fiction fortress of Rothbart's Thug Life.

Just moments before breaking out the book, I had been on a mission to the corner store to get some of that Ice cream where they mix all the other flavors of ice cream together and create some cosmic new sugar swirl job. Man I love that stuff. The more items you can get in my ice cream the better. As I was walking home with my score, I thought about how sweet a job it must be to sit around a science kitchen all day and contemplate, earnestly, the creation of new and exciting ice creams for people to eat. I wonder what concoctions they attempt that never make it pass the first stage of ice cream recipe maneuvering - Chocolate Covered Skittles and Root Beer Swirl - Pineapple Cookie Dough Nerd Surprise - all tried and all failed.

As I was walking home with the frozen goodness and dreaming of my new job of flavor creator, I noticed the last sunbeams of dusk were being toyed with and twisted in the back window of a rusted out toyota corolla just a few meters ahead of me. The reflection of sun light was bouncing off in a concentrated ray of light somewhere just off to my left. The effect was like a Star Wars tractor beam on me. I followed the beam like I was pulling in the anchor off a ship. When I arrived at the car and moved left of the beam, I found myself staring at the torso of a well endowed female metallic mannequin. The sun was bouncing off of it just below the bottom left ribs. I was kinda shocked. It was a bizarre scene. It ruined my swell daydream of future flavor creator and now I was hunted with the scenarios that one concocts when left with the image of headless metallic mannequins lying in the back seats of bombed out cars on the avenue.

It was only when I got back home - confused and troubled, that I noticed the mysterious and painless bleeding from the back of by arm. It was like I had stumbled across some hazy x-files type event which left me marked - punished for witnessing something I wasn't supposed to see.

I lay down on the bed to read the Surfer book but the position of the wound wasn't allowing me to get comfortable cause I didn't want to get any blood on the bedspread. I was too lazy to get a bandage. Instead, I set about contorting myself into silly arrangements, so that I might hold my book up and read it from a prone position but not have the back of my arm touch either the bed spread or my own clothes. This is more difficult that is seems. Seriously. Try it. It's freaking next to impossible. The only good position is to lie on your back and hold both arms straight up with the book between them. But even in this position, your arms get tired quickly and the blood ends up running down your arm, which causes you to cuss voraciously and throw the damn book across the room. Later, when you pick up the book, you find that page 12 has a small blood stain on it and you cuss again. Fuck.

April 04, 2003

While You Were Out
Still giddy from the sunny weather of the west coast, I prematurely broke out the bike Wednesday and took my inaugural bike commute of 2003. The first one is always the hardest. Your ass hurts for a day and your heart feels like it's going to explode. I was also faced with a fierce wind that made each peddle rotation a biblical event. Needless to say, I was jumping the gun a bit. Yesterday it turned prohibitively cold and today the snow has returned.

I missed a few things while unplugged in Portland. Most notably, the crushing protest song, March of Madness, put out by DJ Shadow and Zach De La Rocha. It's times like these that I realize that Audioslave just doesn't cut it. Short of bringing back Rage Against the Machine though, March of Death will do just fine. Let's have some more of it. Blake, from Jet's to Brazil laments in his new post from the bands web site that he's unable to put his feeling on the war into a song so he just wrote a good long piece.

Also while I was out Frank Heine, released a beautiful new font through Emigre, called Tribute. I am a huge admirer of Mr Heine's revivalist style fonts. The current Afrojet logo is set in Dalliance, another of Frank's creations. Tribute is based on a 1596 type, designed by French typesetter, Francois Guyot . The new digital homage is highly readable and looks great in smaller point sizes (5 to 7). The Roman Capitals and alternate characters are also very unique. I really dig the off kilter capital N. But my favorite character of the whole set is the whimsical number sign set in italic ligatures. I have to find a reason to use that!. In connection to the release of the Tribute font, John Dower wrote a fine piece on how to name and discuss revivalist type.

A good time waster for a friday is this collection of gig posters and some spot on war analyses from the Onion. Peace.

April 02, 2003

Vacation Pictures
My new snap photography philosophy is as follows: take as many vacation snaps as you can and eventually you'll hit the target and get some good ones. So here are some of the good ones. Check out the wide style Oregon snaps and then don't miss the tall style snaps. To get the full sensory effect while viewing the images, put on a Johnny Cash or Neil Young record or, if you have it, Deep Purple Live in Japan, and then pop open a PBR tall can.

April 01, 2003

Shock and Awe: Spring Break '03
Pour the coffee, wince twice, and try to remember how to work this damn machine again. I've just returned from a jam packed ten day dance all over the great state of Oregon. Sorry to have been out of the blogsphere for so long but I was on vacation and didn't want to go anywhere near a computer. I had a great time over the last week and a half. Thanks to all those who welcomed, accommodated, partied, tolerated, and educated the Minnesotans during our tour: Dirk, Milo, Lola, Baby Man, A, Ish, Murphy, Pat, Robin, Jackie, Haley, Elizabeth, David, Corrina, Brian, Vinnie, Landry, and my Old Man. You guys are the best.

In the whirlwind tour of Oregon, many sites and lands were felt and many miles were put on the cars. Too much to write about really. The spots hit included but were not limited to: Bend, Roseburg, Yachats, Manzanita, Canon Beach, Astoria, Multnomah Falls, Oneonta in the Gorge. All wonderful.

Eating to the point of gluttony was the order of every day and this was accomplished at: La Cruda, Milo's, The Southern Bistro, The Aalto Lounge, Dot's Cafe, Juniors, San Felipe, The Fulton Pub, Escape from New York Pizza, The Original Pancake House, and Monty's. Good Bloody Marys at Monty's.

My hair was cut off at Bishops Barbershop, were you can drink PBR's while having professionals deal with your hair concerns. Fine coffees were served up at the Fresh Pot and at Crowsenberg's Half & Half. Books were devoured at Powells Books and The Reading Frenzy. Shirts were purchased at Harputs. Chairs were drooled over at the Hive. A re-use revolution is taking place at The Rebuilding Center. Cement was carved at The Burnside Skate Park. Crafts were ogled at The Saturday Market. Shots were fired at the Baron's Den. Knife fights were viewed in the movie The Hunted and money was lost at the Mill Casino. All in all - a great vacation by any standard. It made me totally forget about this whole war thing going on and that has to be a good thing.

Stay tuned for some pictures. I put the new digital camera to the test.